My Journey With Lupus Of The Skin

The Year was 2012. As I normally would, I took a trip to Jamaica to visit my mother's side of the family and while I was there soaking up the Vitamin D of the Caribbean sun and reminiscing on the good old days. While doing that my mom noticed some spots behind my right ear and asked if I have fungus, to which I answered no but I've been noticing them for some time as far back as spring  in 2011.

Fast forward to two months later and the rash had spread behind my both ears. An occurrence pointed out by one of my co-workers.                                                   

It was at that moment  I decided to stop living in denial, I decided to stop believing that what was happening was just regular rashes that would go away on their own.          

Thus, I set out once again to see my doctor. Initially, I was prescribe some pills and for a time, they seemed promising.  That was until the rashes decided to rear their ugly head once again after a mere two weeks.

Frustrated, I went back this time to request that he sends me to a specialist and after much feet dragging on his part and me being persistent, my request was finally approved.

Three months. That was how long it took to for the Dermatologist to contact me so that I could make the appointment I really needed. I had only made a few visits to his office. On my first visit, he scraped one the rashes that was in my chest. Yes, they had spread that far by that time.

A week later, I went in for the result only for it to come back inconclusive. There, it was recommended that I do a biopsy and it was this test that revealed what was really going on inside of me.

I remember the day of the result vividly. As clear as day, it mimics a well detailed photograph, forever etched into my brain.                                                                     There I was, seated in a chair in the doctor's office, nerves on overdrive as I waited for the words that has drastically changed my life: "you have lupus of the skin."

Time stopped and my whole being froze for a moment. Like a worm, the words went through one ear and crept out the other. Nothing had registered. Not until five minutes later at least. "Did you just say that I have lupus?" I finally asked, still shocked by his words, despite having no idea what such a thing was. He looked back at me, and simply said "yes."

Seeing the confusion masking my face, he went on to explain my diagnosis to me but, still very much in disbelief, I heard nothing, I felt nothing, I was numb.

The time came for me to leave the office, still numb, I made my way over to my car. Now alone with my thoughts, it hit me that this was my new reality, that will forever be changed because as you know, lupus has no cure.

And just like that, I broke down, thoughts centering around the worse case scenario saturated every crevice of my brain.

For weeks, I was the embodiment of a zombie. I fell into a deep depression that only allowed me to do my duties in a long-term care home, where I worked at the time, and go home straight afterwards.                                                                                                                  My depression didn't make my home life  any better as all I did was shower and go to my room where the door always remained locked until I would go to the kitchen to get something to eat.                                                                                                                                        It got so bad to the point that I would bring enough food to my room just to avoid my sister and her two sons with whom I was sharing an apartment.

Overtime, my depression got worse to he point where I couldn't focus on my studies in school. So much so that I ended up failing one of my subjects that I decided that a break was best.

I went back a year later, finished my accounting program and immediately enrolled in the Food and Nutrition program. That was when my real ray of hope started to shine through.                                                                                                                                                          Not only was I fully motivated to do better research on my illness, I was curious to find ways of how I can take care of it through nutrition rather than relying on the effects of my prescribed medication.

I started my research which involved the following but not limited to:

- What exactly is lupus and what causes it

- The impact it will have on my life.

- What foods to avoid, which were best for consumption and what were ideal food combinations. 

- How to tell when a flare is coming and stress management techniques to manage them.

- What are the triggers for lupus flares

You could say I was starving for starving for knowledge at that time as my flare ups had gotten so bad, that they made my skin felt like it was set on fire. To make matters worse, to combat the flare ups at the time, I had to put myself through a painful process of getting 20-24 injections in one sitting from my Dermatologist. Ouch!

The medication and the needles had a few side effects, one of being depression which led to more flare ups, thus creating more a never ending cycle of pain.

Just like that, I became lost for a while, I didn't know what to do with myself or what to do in general.                                                                                                                                                For a while, I had thrown in the towel and convinced myself that lupus had won and claimed dominion over me. But that reign lasted for a short time when one thing hit m, and it was I have lupus. But it certainly doesn't have me.                                                        No longer did I pity myself. No longer did I use my illness as an excuse.

I took back the control that was rightfully mine and got even more intense with my research. Within time, I took that research to heart and started to apply what I learned to my life.

Now eight years later, I no longer depend on medication as all the medicine I need comes straight from the soil, to my plate and them to my stomach. As a domino effect, my mood also improve.

No longer do I walk around feeling sorry for myself, I do get depressed but not as much as before. I can honestly say I'm in a healthier place.

being diagnosed, struggled with how to manage it and then having it under control, sparked something in me.  And that is helping women living with lupus get their livelihood back.

To hear more about my journey, click here to watch my lupus journey video .